Parking Wars… parking lot pet peeves.

Pet Peeve: It sounds like such a cute thing.
Who doesn’t like pets? Peeve is a sort of adorable word. Cute and adorable. Yeah right!

According to the wise and all-knowing Wikipedia: “A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to them, to a greater degree than others may find it.”

According to me a pet peeve is some stupid thing a person does that makes me want to punch them in the face. I am generally a non-violent person. I never would punch somebody. But boy sometimes I want to. Admit it, so do you.

This is a collection of my pet peeves related to parking lots.

cell march 15 2013 900

OOPS! Did I Ding Your Door?

This is not about my door. I drive a 2001 Toyota Corolla. That thing has so many dings and scratches that unless you whacked me pretty good I doubt I would notice, especially if it was on the beautifully textured passenger side. The result of a rush hour hit and run.

This is about YOUR DOOR and the definitely deliberate ding I will be delivering.
Why? Because that is the only way I am able to get into my car.

cell march 2013 138 Go ahead and ding her. She hits back!

This is about you, the TOO CLOSE PARKERS!
I just love getting back to my car to find that you have nuzzled right up to my driver side. I know I am plump, and need a bit more room than some, but you have left barely enough room for Lindsay Lohan to slide in after a 40 day fast!

We have established that I don’t care much about my little friend getting a scratch. What about you? What about the shiny shiny paint on your new Lexus? Maybe you should have thought about that before you left a space not even an anorexic at her goal weight could squeeze through.

I am not going to crawl through the passenger side. Oh no no. I am going to very slowly and carefully open my door. I will squeeze my irritated self into my car doing my best not to damage yours. Unlike you, i am courteous, at least in action. You do not want to know what is going through my mind. If I ding your door. So be it.

If I can’t squeeze in without doing serious damage. I have no problem going into the store and having you paged. I will wait while you stop what you are doing and we can have a chat while you move your car. I almost got the pleasure of doing this one day at the grocery store. Lucky for the car owner, she got to her car just as I was loudly saying: “Oh look! I get to ding the door!” She didn’t look very happy. Well lady, next time maybe you will learn to park between the lines!

camera NC trip 004 My, what shiny doors you have!

Going For a Stroll?

It is a very good thing that it is illegal to hit people with your car!
People that stroll around the parking lot like it is a park really get to me.
There are CARS in there, people. Pay attention!

THE WANDERERS
This is to those of you that like to wander from you car to the store with no regard to where you wander. You people who stroll down the middle lane like it is a sidewalk. Snails pace, winding here and there.

You couples that walk five feet apart, taking up the whole lane, but then hit the Walmart and now it is a love fest of hands on back pockets. What gives?!

Families, you are the worst! Parents, why not take this as an opportunity to teach your kids about safety? But no, you spread out like a search line. You know, my bumper is an excellent educational tool.

Cruise 159    Cruise 162
A street fair is one time you can wander the lot.
You can identify this by the presence of vendors and lack of cars!

Listen people. That nice wide lane that you were just driving in – It is for cars!
Stay out of the way!

At the very least, move over when you see a car or hear one behind you. You cannot tell me that you can’t hear my car. I can hear that thing running and I am inside of it with the radio on! In the winter I am sporting studded snow tires. If you can’t hear my noisy tank of a Toyota coming, you might want to invest in a hearing aid. And that is why, as much as I would like to, I don’t beep at you. You won’t have a clue what it means.

I bet you are the same people that CROSS WITHOUT LOOKING!
You are just asking me to hit you. Maybe that is why I want to do it!

Granted, I can see you. I am going very slow. I am not a jerk and I will let you cross. Or did I see you? Maybe I am not looking either? Maybe you should at least give it a quick check. I am pretty sure that if it came down to a meeting of you and my car, the car is going to win.

For those of you that might have lost the message in my rambling.
Try to remember these tips:

Look before you park. Unless you want me to ding your door.

Do not wander the lot like a drunk at a street fair. There are cars trying to drive in there!

Look before you cross. I might not be looking either!

Thank you!

french poodle 8 30 2012 I really am a sweet girl. Just look at this face. Don’t make me go all crazy! 🙂

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My 365 Day Challenge… Foolish or Genius?

This is about those people who decide to do “whatever” for 365 days. Why? I have no idea. Most of them tell me, why not. Here is my take on the whole thing.

PLUS, this is the reveal of my very own 365 Day Challenge! April Fools Day seems an appropriate day for this fool to announce her foolish venture.

365 Days…

It sounds so simple. So innocuous. 365 Days. Once a day. Daily. For one year. Every day for a year without missing a single one. Wait? What? Hold it.

I can say with some certainty that there is very very little (excluding things like involuntary bodily functions) that I have done every single day 356 days in a row without missing a single day. Have you? Really think about this. Especially if it’s something non-essential to your health or your family’s.

Why do it?

Who doesn’t love a cool project?
Something to get excited about. As adults, we don’t get a lot of chances to do things like this. Maybe there is a part of us that craves our younger days full of science fairs and dioramas and other school projects that our parents just loved to help with – and transport to school on a morning where they are inevitably running late.

When you phrase it simply, a 365 day challenge sounds pretty cool.
I am going to do (x) every day for 365 days. This is going to be fun! You start thinking of all the cool ways to do (X). Then how you will send it out into the world? Youtube? Facebook? Blog?

You tell your friends of your grand design.
The reaction is a combination of: You are a genius and You are a fool! Which should you listen to? Neither! Go for it.

You are insane, but aren’t all creative geniuses?

Seriously. How many times have you wished there were more hours in the day? I am wishing that right now!

Why on earth would you want to add more to do. Why be insane enough to require it daily for an entire year?

No skipping. Ever. For 365 consecutive days. One missed day is failure. No pressure or anything. How will you feel on day 200 when you have a million other things to do and you just barely have time to squeeze this one in? Or day 250 when you are grasping at straws for one idea let alone over one hundred more.

How will you feel on day 365 when you finish that last one? AWESOME! At least I suppose you would. Maybe you will just be tired and glad the darn thing is done. Nah, I bet it feels awesome.

It’s all about fame and money!

Fame and Money. Isn’t that what everyone does everything for? Especially if it involves youtube or a similar social media. It is all about going viral! Alright, so no one has actually said that to me. Some are trying to spread interest or awareness. Some are honestly just expressing themself. What I want to say to them is – DON’T SELL  YOURSELF SHORT.

The first 365 Day challenge I ever saw was Skull A Day by Noah Scalin.

He made one skull a day for 365 days using different material. Then he made is into a book. He has an awesome blog. He sells merchandise. YOU CAN DO THIS TOO! Maybe I will beat you to it….

My 365 Day Challenge – Haiku a Day!

I will be writing one haiku or micropoem every day for 365 days in a row. Each one must be inspired by a different object.

Why Haiku?
Because they are short and easy, and fun!
Plus, if I am going to have any chance of success, I need to start small. Brushing my teeth seemed like an undershoot. Next up was poetry. I am a poetry addict. I want to write more of it. I want to be a haiku master! But I am too lazy and unorganized to study. This will force my hand. I am excited.

Speaking of success, what are my odds?
I refuse to think about it. I am taking the “one day at a time” approach.

TODAY IS DAY ONE….
Inspired by me getting pelted with hail on grandpa’s deck today.

haiku 1a

Would you ever attempt a 365 Day Challenge?

ARE you attempting one now? Let me know so I can spread the word. It is all about fame and money after all, isn’t it?!